Underlying automatic commitment

Reflections

Started With commitment vs trying

Beliefs and judgements we believe of ourselves and those around us.

We’re always committed to something – no grey area. Whatever you’re committed to your experience.

A UAC is an unconscious commitment. It is an insight they have of their self.

We repeat our actions because its predictable, comfortable, an easy option.

Narrative coaching:
Coaching around your story of your life. We puts bits in we like and some we don’t like. It’s not absolutely true; it’s our interpretation of our life. UAC’s are part of our story. It is a good way to start your session and coaching relationship.

Most of us want to change

Research cognitive behavioural therapy. Limited use is OK combined with coaching.

Question: What’s the reward for continuing the behaviour
Answer: ‘No reward’
But there is always an underlying reward.

UAC’s eg’s
I’m not good enough – victim
If you have an asset & don’t look after it, it’ll become a liability
I’m a good person; I’ve done more good than bad.

Model your own experience in recognising UAC’s – this will encourage your client to search for their own UAC.

Resource: Susan Scott – Fierce Conversations
All relationships are conversations
At any given time you’re building or destroying conversations. This can be a conversation with yourself.

Is the UAC an obstacle?

Not always but we need to be aware of them so we can choose to continue with the commitment or not.

Why bother to discern UAC’s

Discerning an UAC is empowering. We are then able to choose whether to embed in our life and use them when necessary or we can reject them.

What are some unwanted behaviours you currently have in your life? Using this process, can you now see what might be behind these outcomes?

Being frustrated at having to frequently wipe benches down in the kitchen. My UAC or belief is that I’m a victim whenever I wipe the benches down.

With this new insight, what would be an empowering action to take?

Empowering action is to recognise that it is my role in the household to clean the benches down – how simple is that! Others in the household have different roles – washing up; cooking etc

Why is it important not to view UAC’s as bad or wrong?

It will only lead to more disempowerment. All you will do is get involved in analysis. By allowing it to simply be, we’re able to see other opportunities.

Why is knowledge of an UAC helpful in making constructive choices?

By discerning UAC, this allows one to see what it is that has been dominating their life. We can then find release from it and move forward. We can have a fresh perspective in order to take action outside the old pattern of behaviour

perspective 1

Your perspective determines your experience in life, not your circumstances.

Reframe: Shifting our perspective

Use the tool of observation

Ask questions:

‘What is your perspective on this that is giving you this result?’

‘What’s the perspective you take now that could empower you to solve it?’
or
‘What’s missing here, that once it is included will make this situation flow.’

Disempowering view: Victim ‘it’s not my fault’; fear; doubt.

Empowering view: Respect; responsibility; action, creation

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react

Different perspectives can be considered by describing how different people would look at the issue eg a 5 year old toddler vs an elderly person.

We think with our entire body – the way we give expression in our face and body; our posture.