some sayings

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated in an algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

7. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

8. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.. Then it hit me.

9. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

10. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

11. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

12. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

13. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

Thanks again phil baker