Note: Cherylrichardson.com
Recognise anxiety
Action reminds us we have what it takes
"Do it, ditch it, delegate it" - give yourself 1 hour to do one of the options
Describe the feeling of being in action and not being in action
Motion questions:
What 6 things can you do now around this goal?
What can you start tomorrow?
What's the simplest step you can take right now?
Use accountablity and rewards
Reasons people don't move forward:
1. Fear
2. Caught up in past experiences
3. Habits
4. Negative self talk around a UAC
5. Self doubt
6. Goals are too
a) small
b) large
7. No support system
8. No vision
9. It's not really the coachee's goal - could highlight dependancy issues - depending on the coach
A coachee needs to be self sufficient
Friday, December 5, 2008
creating confidence
a recipe for confidence
1. trust in confidence
2. past experiences - wisdom
3. being committed and in action
As a coach we can gain confidence knowing that we can use our life and work experience - at least to know the questions even though we haven't always got the coachee's answer.
In any bio always write about the real you and not who you want people to think you are
1. trust in confidence
2. past experiences - wisdom
3. being committed and in action
As a coach we can gain confidence knowing that we can use our life and work experience - at least to know the questions even though we haven't always got the coachee's answer.
In any bio always write about the real you and not who you want people to think you are
the coaching process
curiosity is key
4 tools
1. Truth telling
2. listening
3. perspective
4. feedback
result = reframe
4 tools
1. Truth telling
2. listening
3. perspective
4. feedback
result = reframe
powerful questions
What makes question powerful?
1. Takes our breath away
2. Stops you in yor tracks
3. Opens up possibilities that you have never dreamed of before - validates who you are
Powerful questions include:
1. Takes our breath away
2. Stops you in yor tracks
3. Opens up possibilities that you have never dreamed of before - validates who you are
Powerful questions include:
- What would your legacy be?
- What do you need most right night?
- What are you tolerating?
- What gets you out of bed each morning?
- 3 things you'd like more in life?
- 3 things you'd like less?
- What if ...... What would happen ........
- What do you do like breathing?
- Visualize old age, being at the end of yor life - regrets; who do you have aound you?
- If you had a million dollars what 3 causes would you give it to?
- Use silence!
reframing 2 & 3/3
The ladder of influence - check systems-thinking.org
When making an assumption ask "what is the evidence that the assumption is true"
Journal our assumptions to capture our thinking
Sounds like ....
Your lens, right now, is pretty cloudy .....
"I feel like....." does that make you a ......"
"You'll emerge more resilient - like a butterfly"
"Can I give you some feedback?"
What support groups do you have eg journal; legal; councellor; time with friends
When making an assumption ask "what is the evidence that the assumption is true"
Journal our assumptions to capture our thinking
Sounds like ....
Your lens, right now, is pretty cloudy .....
"I feel like....." does that make you a ......"
"You'll emerge more resilient - like a butterfly"
"Can I give you some feedback?"
What support groups do you have eg journal; legal; councellor; time with friends
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
celebrating
Keep a gratitude journal - check out proverbs
At the start of the day write down the way you want the day to go - check any 'I don't deserve' moments
Use game vs significance
Ask a client how they wil celebrate
Just being in the moment can be a celebration
At the start of the day write down the way you want the day to go - check any 'I don't deserve' moments
Use game vs significance
Ask a client how they wil celebrate
Just being in the moment can be a celebration
structures
Structures - are a framework; foundation
They remind us what is important
For some structures are negative but it is, in fact, a form of support to reach a goal - a support system that keeps people moving in action
Without structure we have chaos
Our structure is something that supports something that you're committed to. Once we've recognised this, we can make a choice to keep structures or not We also need to ID structures that do not support our goals.
Are we supporting our clients to create or to take away some structure?
Structure = freedom rather than constraint; they reminders as to what we're committed to.
Consider describing your coaching model in the first few weeks eg include the quitting zone etc so the client knows where they're heading to. How do your clients know about their boundaries and your standards?
eg of boundaries
cell phones to be turned off
lateness
open / honesty
client should be prepared eg goals or fieldwork
client to have pen / paper
eg of standards
confidentiality
respect
honesty
lateness / missing a session
Passion + Structure = action
The more measurable it is the easier it is to reach that goal
replace willpower by structure; we can never rely on willpower.
We can be busy but not with the necessary action to move us towards our goal.
Sometimes we have impulse to change 'enough is enough!' These impulses rarely last.
Most clients are probably in an impulse for change - probably having failed once
Without structures / coaching our natural tendency is to keep our old patterns.
Trying (willpower)
vs
Commitment (creates structure)
Coaches can catch an impulse and stretch them for a much longer period sometimes for a lifetime.
Coaching, in itself, is a powerful structure
A goal is an outward visible outcome
A commitment is the inner drive that produced that goal to begin with
They remind us what is important
For some structures are negative but it is, in fact, a form of support to reach a goal - a support system that keeps people moving in action
Without structure we have chaos
Our structure is something that supports something that you're committed to. Once we've recognised this, we can make a choice to keep structures or not We also need to ID structures that do not support our goals.
Are we supporting our clients to create or to take away some structure?
Structure = freedom rather than constraint; they reminders as to what we're committed to.
Consider describing your coaching model in the first few weeks eg include the quitting zone etc so the client knows where they're heading to. How do your clients know about their boundaries and your standards?
eg of boundaries
cell phones to be turned off
lateness
open / honesty
client should be prepared eg goals or fieldwork
client to have pen / paper
eg of standards
confidentiality
respect
honesty
lateness / missing a session
Passion + Structure = action
The more measurable it is the easier it is to reach that goal
replace willpower by structure; we can never rely on willpower.
We can be busy but not with the necessary action to move us towards our goal.
Sometimes we have impulse to change 'enough is enough!' These impulses rarely last.
Most clients are probably in an impulse for change - probably having failed once
Without structures / coaching our natural tendency is to keep our old patterns.
Trying (willpower)
vs
Commitment (creates structure)
Coaches can catch an impulse and stretch them for a much longer period sometimes for a lifetime.
Coaching, in itself, is a powerful structure
A goal is an outward visible outcome
A commitment is the inner drive that produced that goal to begin with
advanced coaching tehniques
Reflect on sentences - if short / analytical use scales 1 - 10
Qu Can you see the next number
Look at successful strategies that got your client to the point in the scale they're already at
Workshop of Personal Basics
Don't push but lead / pull clients with a vision they can't wait to arrive at
Ask yourself: Is there anything I can do differently?
Resource: Barry Duncan - the heroic client
What is missing; Is there a price you're not willing to pay to achieve the goal
Qu Can you see the next number
Look at successful strategies that got your client to the point in the scale they're already at
Workshop of Personal Basics
Don't push but lead / pull clients with a vision they can't wait to arrive at
Ask yourself: Is there anything I can do differently?
Resource: Barry Duncan - the heroic client
What is missing; Is there a price you're not willing to pay to achieve the goal
Monday, December 1, 2008
Responding ve reacting
Qu:
Is this reaction expressing how you truly feel?
What is really going on here?
What are you trying to preserve?
Identify the feeling - become aware of where you are being 'trapped'
Signs: Anger; annoyance, frustration, defensiveness
To respond we need to ID the trap
Is this reaction expressing how you truly feel?
What is really going on here?
What are you trying to preserve?
Identify the feeling - become aware of where you are being 'trapped'
Signs: Anger; annoyance, frustration, defensiveness
To respond we need to ID the trap
empowering the coaching relationship
'System beats intention'
Note 'Power calls' for 2-10 mins
In a business setting allow the recipient to give feedback to the sponsoring person eg ER person
Stages of change
1 Pre-contemplation - not even thinking about it
2 contemplation - beginning to think about their behaviour
3 Prepare to take action - getting resources
4 Take action including backsliding
5 maintenance - don't have to think about it
Note 'Power calls' for 2-10 mins
In a business setting allow the recipient to give feedback to the sponsoring person eg ER person
Stages of change
1 Pre-contemplation - not even thinking about it
2 contemplation - beginning to think about their behaviour
3 Prepare to take action - getting resources
4 Take action including backsliding
5 maintenance - don't have to think about it
Advanced coaching technique
Anxiety... what if...
I must do things perfectly well
Note sleeping problem
ID what works; What was it like when you last had a good sleep
What was present then that is missing now?
I must do things perfectly well
Note sleeping problem
ID what works; What was it like when you last had a good sleep
What was present then that is missing now?
Acknowledgement
Specific feedback really reinforces the validity of your acknowledgment.
Avoid methodical acknowledgement for the sake of it.
However, we can invite a client at the start of every session to consider their wins. Consequently, our acknowledgement can be relevant.
Keep an acknowledgement journal of your client
Ladder of influence
Like a rug and on it you set a folding ladder.
The rug represents all the experiences we could have.
We tend to focus on certain things. Some focus on the detail, some on the process, some on the relational - who's here? Some on the possibilities (lateral thinkers )
We then begin to walk up the ladder.
First step: This is what's happening,
Next: This is what it means
Next: I'd better do something
We can go up the ladder so fast that we're sometimes not aware of the way we're looking at things.
Avoid methodical acknowledgement for the sake of it.
However, we can invite a client at the start of every session to consider their wins. Consequently, our acknowledgement can be relevant.
Keep an acknowledgement journal of your client
Ladder of influence
Like a rug and on it you set a folding ladder.
The rug represents all the experiences we could have.
We tend to focus on certain things. Some focus on the detail, some on the process, some on the relational - who's here? Some on the possibilities (lateral thinkers )
We then begin to walk up the ladder.
First step: This is what's happening,
Next: This is what it means
Next: I'd better do something
We can go up the ladder so fast that we're sometimes not aware of the way we're looking at things.
Moving Forward
Staying in the past is like drivnig looking into the rear view mirror.
Coach is like a cabbie - the destination is up to the client.
Provide structures for promises etc Note the cultural differences between promises and commitment.
There will always be a difference between fact and our interpretation.
Resources
Break the procrastination habit - Williams Knaus
Concentrate - Sam Horne
Coach is like a cabbie - the destination is up to the client.
Provide structures for promises etc Note the cultural differences between promises and commitment.
There will always be a difference between fact and our interpretation.
Resources
Break the procrastination habit - Williams Knaus
Concentrate - Sam Horne
UAC - Underlying Automatic Commitment
To let go of a UAC is an evolving conversation that often cannot be rushed. We need to be gentle. UAC's have been built up over a life time - consequently, it's going to take time to change.
Who ID's the UAC?
Generally, the client has to explore and label it. We can suggest issues but we shouldn't necessarily be the ones to label it.
When you've tapped into a UAC don't stop the conversation. It may be that the client has used a convenient label.
Who ID's the UAC?
Generally, the client has to explore and label it. We can suggest issues but we shouldn't necessarily be the ones to label it.
When you've tapped into a UAC don't stop the conversation. It may be that the client has used a convenient label.
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