commitment vs trying 1

We’re always committed

Unconscientious commitment UAC

We even make sure we have friends around us who agree with our reasons.

There is a lot of power in becoming honest with yourself about why you do things the way you do: This is the key to living a powerful peaceful fulfilling life.
The opposite of living an ‘examined’ life (Socrates) life is living as a victim of life.

You don’t have to be complaining to be drifting and a victim.

You might think that choices have been removed by fate. However, there are always choices no matter what the circumstances.

Applying the model

Don’t use these insights to disempower – don’t judge yourself harshly for them. The purpose of getting to the real commitment behind anything we do is to give ourselves free choice. You can be in control.

Trying - Often, a cover up for a UAC. We make a commitment and struggle to keep – ‘try’ leaves a backdoor.

Following through on commitments is powerful – builds confidence and trust. If we’re in a control of a UAC we can choose to do or not do something about it.

Be alert to the client’s language.

Structures

Actions need to be aligned with your goals. If so, you’re committed.

To help this process: Structure

If you’re committed you’ll put in place a structure to make the time etc available. You’ll welcome it.

Tools

Use a scale of 1-10 and ask…..

Are you motivated? How do you feel? What would you feel like? How much commitment have you put in?

Now, ask, ‘What can we do to make it 10 out of 10.

What action would you be willing to take this week? Is there any resentment?
Now, introduce structure such as accountability email etc

‘I’m going to get a 100 clients’ is something we can’t ultimately control

‘I’m going to make a hundred contacts’ is something we can control

Listen to positive UAC’s

Last Session: Completion session – note all acknowledgements – celebrate.

Then if applicable, suggest other goals it’d be worthwhile to work together.

What are 3 things in your life that you have committed to and achieved.

1. Emigrating to Australia
2. Playing bagpipes
3. Passing my driving test

What are 3 things you have been trying to achieve for a long time but haven’t yet?

1. Daily time with God in prayer
2. Going back to the UK, Bradford
3. My filing

Why have you been able to achieve the things in qu 1 and not in qu 2

Motivation; Real commitment
Qu 2 commitments can be a ‘dream stick’
A vision – a destination

What structures do you have in place to support your commitments?

Accountability
Surround yourself with people who won’t reinforce your negative commitment

Can you think of UAC’s you might have which empower you and make your life better?

Integrity – deliver what I promise
Belief in order
I’m responsible for who I am

creating structure 1

Process of creating boundaries and standards. It creates a pattern for us to follow and sets expectations.

You might be rigid or flexible in what you offer eg more intensive structures for people working on short term goals or projects eg 2 hrs for 6 weeks

Choice: It is a balance between being open to customer needs, whilst knowing your own strengths.

Professional standards

Define the level of performance; what your clients can count on you for. We may choose a consequence.

Policies – coaching guide – include on your website.
Procedures: what to do when x happens
Logistics: How coaching works
FAQ: Frequency Asked Questions

I will decide to give client once the client has signed on – identify some key points in trial session.

Assume the audience knows nothing.

Logistics: day-to-day administration

Structure supports freedom. Coachee has something to negotiate around.

Reflection

Initially, coaching might be more exhausting

Make your job enjoyable / fun. This creates energy. Always remember it’s the coachee who does the hard work / make it happen.

Source: Linda Richards – Failed Coaching

Coaching can help you to see things which you wouldn’t otherwise be able to see.

First sessions might need to be longer than subsequent sessions. We mighty need a rate per hour.

Plan possible extra time (30 mins) in between each session. Plan the 3rd or 4th session (often the most emotional) at the end of the day when the client can hang back.

What structures are you going to put in place in your practice that will direct the logistics of how you work with clients?

Price
First 12 months, whilst training: A free trial session and then a monthly cost of $50’s for the first 3 months then $100’s per month for the next 3 months.
Charge a minimum of $300's for the month to be paid upfront - given my business niche I'd hope to be at $400 per month in 2 years

Standards:

I will respond to emails in 24 hours or I’ll discount the months bill by $50’s or a free email session
If I cancel a session, the next session will be free
ICA standards


What will be my clients’ most common questions?

What is the coaching process going to look like?
How long will the client need to do have sessions?
How much will it cost?
How long will it be and how many times will we have a session?
Why does coaching work?
What credentials do coaches have?
How soon can the client expect to see results?
Is coaching therapy / counselling?

Five years from now, what difference could it make to your coaching practice to have standards you commit to and meet for your clients?

I will have achieved a consistently high standard of service and reliability: Integrity

What could be the impact of advertising standards to your clients and perspective clients?

?

When is the best time to introduce clients or prospective clients to your policies?

Once they have expressed interest to continue from the trial session

creating action 2

Question: How would you feel if you never took the action.

Emotions such as anger may well come before being grateful for the call to action. As a coach we remain without emotion.

Go directly to the interference.

Power tools

Action vs delay
Commitment vs trying
Respond vs reaction (correct action vs action)
Reframing

BEFORE ----------------------------------------AFTER

U.A.C.
Can’t vs won’t

We need to identify the problem and the appropriate tool.

Goals can stop you if it’s not really want you want or it appears too much.

Acknowledgement: Early

‘20 out of 20’ affirmation is significantly better motivator than a ‘19 out of 20’.
Faith in people. Absolutely believe in the idea of a business for eg

Reflection: You’ll always choose what you have a passion for.

Take one of the tools and use it in everyday life in moving someone forward. - Being a coach not just doing a coach

power listening 2

Golden triangle – Top of the triangle symbolises a ‘thinking cloud’ – thoughts about the client – ‘Hover above’ the coaching session; detach yourself from the conversation. Consequently, you can pay attention to the process or goals. We can get into a help mode. We avoid getting too close and simply fast tracking solutions.

After coaching session – reflect on your own behaviour – are you working too hard? If so, you’re probably trying to provide solutions.

Sympathy vs empathy

Sympathy is looking down in the hole
Sympathy is getting down in the hole.

Focus on questions to avoid sympathy. Focus on directing her helping herself of the hole rather than getting her out of the hole. Avoid ‘helping’!

We are not a ‘rent a friend’ business!

Coachee needs to walk out saying “ain’t I great!” not “isn’t the coach great”. Detach yourself from the coachee’s success.

How difficult is it to suspend judgement and opinions?

For me, it is very difficult, especially if I'm using the 'I' word to establish ownership of what I say. However, in a written document we achieve authority and objectivity by avoiding 'I'.
What are 5 things a coach needs to listen for with a client
ReflectionWe must listen and understand it's all about the coachee. However, in order to be authentic and establish a trust / relationship, we need to encourage the client to open up and become vulnerable, exposing issues of their heart. I believe this can be achieved, in part, by modelling this behaviour. This is being empathetic. It necessitates some degree of discussing our own experiences. Negative consequences would include endangering the professional relationship and the client focus. However, I believe that trust and relationship thrives on this. It is a fine balance we need to achieve!

introduction to coaching

Introduction to coaching

Definition: Ongoing partnership producing results in the personal and professional lives – improve performance and quality of life – ideal life!

How? Listening; observation; customisation and a dialogue to establish values and priority of goals – help others to help themselves

Differences with other professions

Therapy

Focuses on past events
People / clients need to become emotionally healthy
Coaching is action orientated
Coaching can identify a need for therapy

Consulting

Expert model – the opposite to coaching
Specialist in a given area with a particular problem
Coach, on the other hand, doesn’t have to be an expert. The client is the expert and the coach collaborates using the client’s knowledge and answers.

Mentoring

Father notion: Bestows their knowledge and wisdom onto the student
Coaching is side by side partnership.

Some validation research

Manchester Inc. Study ‘Executive Coaching Yields Return on Investments of almost 6 times its cost’. It used 100 executives from Fortune 1000 executives from Fortune 1000 companies who received coaching from Manchester Inc.

ROI of almost 6x the cost of coaching

Resource for starting coaching: Co-active coaching Laura Whitworth

4 cornerstones

The client is naturally creative, resourceful and whole (well) – If not whole then we need therapy.

Joy comes from creativity

Coaching addresses the whole life. Coaches that don’t may feel they don’t have the skills.

Golden rule: If you’re spending a lot of time talking about the past you’re in a therapeutic situation.

Build rapport / trust first – who the person is today. What’s the interference in their life. Know your criteria for achieving rapour. It can be different for your client. Rapour is about you – that the client can trust that everything you say is for their benefit.

Psychology resource: The skilled helper – Ega

The agenda has to come from the client. The goal is specified by the client.

2 forces that combine – Action and learning. Coaching is not simply getting things done (action). Asking questions can create learning – can’t do this without listening – listen until you don’t exist. Stop the chatter and be curious.

The relationship is an equal partnership – a designed alliance. Coaching is about of learning

trial session 1 & 2

Trial – clarify there is no obligation

Moves coachee from wanting to change to making a decision to change.

Client is encouraged to talk about their goals, dreams and plans for their life

Alignment – You and the client in clear agreement then you’re aligned. There is no hidden agenda; a clear vision; clear expectations; being transparent – don’t overpromise.

Avoid an underlying perspective for selling. The perspective should be ‘what will be the best support for the prospective client.

Choice: Big picture vs one issue

Preliminary questions begin the enthusing process. “What do you want to achieve or leave from this session?”

Reflections

Finding perspective clients:

* Peer coaches
* Use contacts in another industry
* Send an email to give a complimentary session. Be excited!

We need clarity and transparency

Questions to enthuse

* Are you happy with where you are?
* Is there anything you would have done different in your life?
* Can you imagine an hour where we can talk just about you?
* What plans do you have?
* If you had an extra day in the week what would you spend it on?

Pretend you’re the first coach on the planet and don’t have a perspective of trying to get it right. Write 1 – 4 objectives for your trials session. What do you want to achieve by the end of the session? What is an outcome you want? What is an outcome your prospective client might want?

Objectives:

* Established a rapport and a solid professional relationship
* Establish a picture of where the client is at – I have a basic outline of his/her story
* I am beginning to understand some key client priorities; dreams ; goals we may explore further
* The client clearly understands my expectations and standards

My Trial Session:

How would it work?

1. We would meet face to face with an email to follow up. (The email would recap the key issues, lesson learnt and the steps forward, short and long term).
2. We’ll meet for an hour. My objective is to give you the very best. There’ll be no obligations. If, I’m not suitable then I’ll recommend another coach.
4. We’ll begin by discovering who you are, what’s important to you and your real priorities. This will be, to some extent, introspective and will most likely take the whole trial session.

What would it look like?

1. I smell coffee and a delicious cake! We’ve found space to do life without phone calls; job commitments; family commitments. We’re chilled out, relaxed and ready to have some fun!
2. I explain, in more detail, what coaching is about and the overall process involved. I outline to you the objective of the trial session: For me to understand your story and to identify areas in your life that are important to you.
3. Me and you are having a conversation (not a questions and answers session!) but I’m doing most of the listening. I am absolutely intent on listening to your whole story – your perspective on your life.
4. I am identifying opportunities to ask questions linked to your response. It is conversational, in style.
5. I offer alternative perspectives and ask challenging questions to help you reflect on who you are and what’s important to you, now.
6. You construct a ‘wheel of life’ (or some other tool). You identify 6 – 8 areas in your life that are important to you. I do not offer you any list to choose from – it’s up to you! Of course, I may give you a couple of examples to begin the process. eg's Purpose / Spirituality / Job / Health / Self Care / Finances / Relationships / Lifestyle The wheel of life is likle a pie chart with each segment representing the most important pillars of your life.
7. You will have the first attempt at prioritising your ‘wheel of life’ with my support, if necessary.
8. At the end of the trial session, I ask you for feedback.
9. I ask you if you have found the process enlightening, insightful and / or helpful. If a positive response, I ask you if you’d like to schedule a month of coaching sessions. Homework (fieldwork): Consider 3 goals for the top 3 areas of your life.
10. I am not pushy nor do I say anything that in any way sounds like a sales pitch.

In the follow up sessions:

11. Confirm the areas of importance and confirm the priority of their importance to you.
12. We confirm the goals to achieve in 1 to 3 primary areas of your life. We’ll discuss generally, how some may be short and some long term goals.
13. We begin to break down broad goals into smaller realistic achievable (S.M.A.R.T.) steps
14. Once you make a decision to take action, I support it 110% and enthuse you to actually take the necessary steps.
15. At the start of each session, I always ask you which area of your life you’d like to be coached. You are always in control of the process.
16. I affirm your successes, and offer accountability; I am a partner travelling the journey with you.


Comments on the suggested Course outline:

1. Set a perspective, by asking questions to help the client understand what they can get out of the trial session. eg what do you want to achieve in this session?

I have to confess that I am not entirely convinced of this first step. How can you ask a client what they want from coaching when they know very little about the process in the trial session? Certainly, this question could be used in subsequent sessions. Rather, I would prefer a coach led introduction describing the objectives and general processes to be used in the trial session.

2. Get a vision: What would you like to have, achieve, see or feel? By when? Prioritise goals

The vision is obviously key to the whole process in the trial – What are the clients dreams. This may take the whole trial session! The goals, at this point, will most likely need much refining in the immediate sessions that follow. Also, the timeframe may only be very general (short / long) in the trial session.

3. Help them see a path: Identify some of the key necessary steps

In my view, steps will need to be for one specific area of the coachees life as an example.

4. Highlight why a coach is needed by asking questions like:
- What’s missing in your life?
- People use coaching for different things: for support, accountability, direction, focus, validation, challenge and motivation. How do you think coaching could help you.

5. Uncover any hidden objections (doubts)

- is there anything missing that you need to know about me. How I coach or who I am, for you to decide if it makes sense for us to work together?

6. Commitment to ongoing coaching by using pre-commitment questions such as:

- How important is this goal to you?
- How far are you willing to go to achieve this goal

Do not leave the session without extending an invitation to regular coaching unless you’re sure they’re unsuitable.

7, Working with new clients – admin needs to be taken care of such as contact information; the suitable time slot; welcome pack emailed or posted; payment instructions; fun fieldwork (homework)

Yes, important though not always top of mind to do!

8. Feedback from the client

- how do you feel about us working together?
- Are there any concerns at all you might have about coaching that you would like to talk about right now?

Yes, a good idea


Why should I invest my time and money in this?

You’ll:
* discover things about yourself you didn’t already know that sometimes can be an obstacle to your growth
* establish a bigger vision for your life
* appreciate yourself better as well as others
* be excited about life and it’s opportunities
* avoid being a “when …. then I will….” person
* have fun and enjoy your life’s journey
* you’ll walk down paths understanding obstacles will happen but are an opportunity to learn
* develop strategies to be an overcomer of life’s obstacles
* have more fulfilling relationships
* want to be with dynamic people like you!
* grow / change
* make better decisions
* achieve your goals
* take more, smarter and better actions
* have a balanced life – material vs spiritual vs physical health vs lifestyle vs career vs family life etc
* have more energy in your life

What are two advantages for inviting someone to do a month of coaching versus a trial session? What are the disadvantages?

advantages:
* Demonstrates commitment through investment of $’s and time
* Better able to demonstrate beneficial results of coaching


disadvantages
*Disincentive for people who are in the ‘curious’ stage. They want to find out some more about coaching without having to make any significant commitment
*Commitment is made before both coach and client can determine whether they are compatible.

ten probing questions used when searching for the goal, or dream, that excites and inspires the client. ( “What is one thing you would love to change in your life?”)

1. What is the goal or outcome you want to achieve? Or as an alternate: If you could wave a magic wand and this issue would be settled to your satisfaction, what would that look like?
2. What will happen/what are the consequences if you don't do this?
3. What are the obstacles in your way right now?
4. How will you feel once this is complete?
5. What structures do you need to put in place to enable you to achieve your goal?
6. Make a list of 5 people that you most admire and describe why you like them. What are the attributes that you want to make your own?
7. Imagine you have 12 months to live! What would you do with your life?
8. Let’s play ‘when, then’ – write down a list of ambitions you have on hold until ‘such and such’ happens. eg When I’m rich, I’ll establish my own business.
9. If you had an extra hour in the day what would you do with it?
10. What are you tolerating/putting up with? If you knew there was absolutely no way you could fail what would you go do right now?

List five major concerns or objections you expect people may have about setting up ongoing coaching. Create an honest response which will Enthuse your prospective client.

1. They may not always have the time
2. It cost too much
3. They don’t feel comfortable with the coach
4. They believe they already know everything and are doing everything they could possibly do now.
5. Vulnerability / confidential / gossip

6. Fear of a sales pitch

My honest response could be that they will not be as successful in achieving their goals and many areas of their life may remain stagnant without the structures eg accountability; enthusing and direction a coach can offer. I’d ask if they were prepared to not achieve their goals in life. However, I would have promised that this would be a no obligations session. Therefore, I would be very careful not to push the ‘Amway’ guilt trip.

creating action 1

The client needs a process of discovery before implementing an action plan

Supporting steps

Focus on values – first step

Enhance strengths

Most underestimate their strengths. Therefore, we need to construct a strengths inventory. Use a brainstorm if necessary.

Do not focus on ‘weaknesses’ – use ‘distractions’, ‘barriers’, ‘roadblock;, ‘obstacles’ – words that sound manageable.

People will remember 4 negative events to every 1 positive event. Therefore, there is a need to counterbalance.

Goals are built on strengths

Often what supports a client is what they take out of their lives not what they add. Consequently, we need to remove roadblocks before they create a problem.

* Gathering resources to support the action
* Support in creating a list
* Goal setting and many sub goals

Prevention of slipping into old patterns

Steps backwards gives us an opportunity to acknowledge the client, to encourage

Common pattern: Quickly change / achieve initial goals then have a set-back.

May be entrenched behavioural roadblock. Therefore encouragement is needed.

Creating an action plan

Client has a roadmap and is able to track their progress and visually see the benefit of the coaching process.

Positive affirmations

In the world we are inundated with negative comments. Strategy: Have the client write down affirmations and place somewhere visual.

Focussing on solutions

Once you know hat works do more of it
When you discover something that doesn’t work do something different.

Build on past success

It can provide a shift in perspective. Client can tap into the success.

Tool: Create a Success Time line and pull the strengths from these successes

Create a list of encouraging role models

Identify who the client’s role models are and why. If they can do it so can we.
If there is no existing role model then challenge the client to find one.

Enlist the help of a support team

And also decrease the time they spend with non-supporting people. Put boundaries in place.

Reflections

A change in perspective doesn’t necessarily mean a move into action

Self insight / introspection is very important before we can take action. Do not rush into action for action’s sake.

What is the interference / obstacle between where the person is now and where they want to be.

Judgement of by others is the biggest cause of procrastination and therefore unravelling this judgement will be initially more important than defining goals.

“What others think of you is none of your business”

Judgement is ‘made up’ in our minds and can be an illusion. Our ego is all about ‘me’. Our ego does not want to be judged and always wants something in return. Therefore, we need to take our eyes off ourself and make ‘others’ the focus of our action. This is a key Christian principle.

Ask the client how they would feel if they didn’t achieve their goal.

Another strategy is to research your fear. The more you understand and dismantle your fear the more you’ll be able to rationalise it.

Knowing who we are and taking no action is fruitless but first we must know who we are! Feel the fear and do it anyway!

Process

“Faith without works is dead” but first we must knowwho we are (in Christ)!


SELF ----------------------------------------------------------------SELFLESS
-----------Identify applicable fears, rationalise and dismantle
-----------Identify judgement, rationalise and lose our ego

Introspection ------------------------------Focus action on others
Discovery of who we are -------------------Overcome Fears


Reflect on your own experience: How have you felt when others have encouraged you to take action when you doubted your strength or ability in a specific area?

I have felt energised, increased confidence and begin to build a new perspective of what is possible.

What are your top 10 strengths? How do these support you in your development of your coaching practice?

Strength & How my strength supports my practice
‘Down to earth’ - Coachee feels at ease
Open / vulnerable -Will not refrain from necessary feedback. Moreover, I’m modelling desired coachee behaviour.
Extroverted -Will be able to give feedback
Synthesiser -I can combine elements of separate material or abstract entities into a single or unified entity. Consequently, the coachee can break through the clutter.
Organised and plan ahead - Brings structure to sessions
Empathiser - Helps me connect with the client’s perspective
Business experience - Supports my business niche - relate to business people; helps me in establishing ‘my business’
Educational experience -Supports specific areas such as listening skills; client centred activities; customising my response to the needs of the individual
Belief in Christ -Supports my spiritual niche
Middle aged male - Supports my male ‘rediscovery’ niche

Think of one goal that you will have for the next month. What structures do you need to put in place to enable you to achieve your goal?

Design my promo and welcome pack. Structures: Goal is detailed in business ‘action plan’; I partner with a graphic designer; improve my own photoshop skills!

Make a list of 5 people that you most admire and describe why you like them. What are the attributes that you want to make your own?

Person admired Why I like them attributes I can make my own
Jesus - He is love! Loving people
My wife - She challenges me but maintains respect Respect people
Paul Scanlon -He has integrity Integrity
Louie Giglio - Speaks from the heart; vulnerability
Brian Houston - A great leader; confidence; risk taker

Who is on your support team? Is it big enough? Are there others you need to engage with more to support you in achieving your goals?

My wife, lawyer, accountant and marketing partners

I need to engage with my ex-colleagues in media and network with colleagues in coaching and counselling and other applicable professions.

action vs delay 1

Process

Idea------ Action Plan ------Action------- Results

Just knowing this process doesn’t necessarily bring people to action.

Why? Fear of failure, mistakes and disappointments

Know that such consequences are simply part of the process. Embrace it and move on. Become good at facing failure – learn from it

Overwhelmed by big goal and can’t see the small achievable steps or even the first simple step.

Motion creates new circumstances and awareness. Otherwise inertia, passivity of observation which though enlightening, can become boring if we indulge in it. We need a balance.

What causes delay?

Some kind of belief, judgement or underlying automatic commitment (UAC) that holds us back from taking responsibility.

We need to think clearly through the false reasoning of fear itself. The only way around fear is to move through it. Face the fear and do it anyway!

Methods to shift delay to action

* Goal setting – break into manageable steps
* Address the fears with reasoning – as illusions constructed in our mind
* Address UAC eg could be committed to failure
* Accountability – use structures
* Shift in perception eg when you come to the end of your life would you regret not doing this?

Consequences

Have the client describe the consequences of not taking action. Which is worse: Action or non-action

Note: Push and pull techniques

Reflections

Reframe delay to an opportunity for introspection / self analysis

Feelings when in action: being stretched, in discovery, excited, powerful, in control, liberating, freedom, purpose and focus, eyes are off me.

Be careful not to have too much action that can overwhelm a coachee.

Feelings when in delay: Frustrating, regrets, powerless, burdened, in the blame game, not focused, eyes are on me

Check-in with your client to sense whether the feelings above are prevalent.

Action doesn’t have to be big

“You cannot plough a field in your mind”

Delay can be OK if it’s not the right time

Lack of clarity re goals can cause delay

Differentiate between blaming and acknowledging circumstances as genuinely affecting your move forward. It can be a fine line.

We can’t control our external circumstances but we can control our reactions.

Action to deal with fear could include:

* What’s the worse that can happen. Disappointment has never killed anyone Identify that we all * face fear and need to move through it
* Tap into past successes
* Lighten the moment; use a game, make it fun!
* Create accountability structure

Do something each day that you don’t want to do

An area where I’ve been in delay - One action I am willing to take this week.

I want to find more significant time for God in my daily ‘busy’ schedule.

My action: I am committed to read scriptures, pray in tongues and to keep a journal (a blog) of my thoughts as I do so. To drive this, I’m expecting God to reveal something significant to me this week. Each week, I will run through my journal with my wife.

Which approach to generate action most appeals to you and why?

Goal setting – break into manageable steps - is the approach that most appeals to me given that ‘goals’ are a familiar concept in business planning.

One more approach

Based on the Christian principle of “Faith without works is dead” but first we must know who we are in Christ! ‘In the world’ it can be translated as knowing who we are and taking no action is fruitless but first we must know who we are!

SELF----------------------------------------------------------------------------SELFLESS
Identify applicable fears, rationalise and dismantle
Identify judgement, rationalise and lose our ego

Introspection Focus action on others
Discovery of who we are Overcome Fears


Pretend we’re going to die in 12 mths. Write how you would change your life right now. Are there different actions you would take? More actions perhaps?

I’d quit teaching, return to the UK (from Australia) and establish a church and use my 12 months grace to preach and, with Gods conviction, bring people to salvation. In particular, I would minister to my brother, who is schizophrenic and take him to the Abundant Life Centre in Bradford – a contemporary church I believe could give him practical help. Praise God!

getting started 2

Standards are expectations which govern the client relationship. It is a roadmap of where you are going and establishes clarity. We need to model our standards and include them in a Welcome Pack.

Ideas for a Welcome Pack

Introduction to coaching
Fees / billing procedure
Structure – Face to face, by phone, on line etc
Length of sessions
Standards including ICA Code of ethics
Reference contact material

Marketing ideas

Email your immediate circle of influence
Referrals
Blog / Website
On-line including: Directory for newsletters – you can send an article and include contact details
Workshops and Seminars
Clutter busters – impactful direct mail
Radio ‘live interview’
Newspapers

Who is my target market?

1. Small to medium businesses
2. Christians
3. Middle aged males who need to rediscover themselves

What is the biggest problem / issue that they have which working with me will solve

1. Slow sales growth driven, in part, by ineffective marketing
2. Not ‘walking the talk’
3. Feeling stale

Identify a unique quality that makes me perfect to work with the target market

1. Marketing combined with educational experience
2. Empathetic fellow Christian
3. I have overcome such a stage in my life – my testimony

Elevator speech

I can completely change people’s lives; that’s what I’m here for!

Practice Design

* The client will receive a ‘Welcome’ pack
* Schedule clients once a week for 3 x 1 hour sessions out of 4 weeks
* Face to face, telephone and on-line platforms
* Charge a minimum of $300's for the month to be paid upfront - given my business niche I'd hope to be at $400 per month in 2 years
*First 12 months, whilst training: A free trial session and then a monthly cost of $50’s for the first 3 months then $100’s per month for the next 3 months.
* I will ask for references and testimonies

Standards:

* I will respond to emails in 24 hours or I’ll discount the months bill by $50’s or a free email session
* If I cancel a session, the next session will be free
* ICA standards


My business structure

* Business name (I will advise once registration process is complete)
* Business Plan
* 20 clients at any given time
* Partners including lawyer, accountant, coaches, counselors
* Telephone with a separate line
* Business card
* Promotional Pack; ‘Discovery’ and ‘Are you ready to hire a coach’ forms
* Welcome Pack
* Promote by word-of-mouth; direct mail; radio 'live interview'; seminars and workshops; newspapers to direct clients to my website. In 2 years, I'd expect on-line promotion to also be part of the marketing mix.
* Reference books / magazines
* On line resources – Internet site and blogs

Enthusing 2

Some key points:

Asking a client to visualize their future etc and therefore, ‘enthuse’, can be done before the decision to take action.

Enthusing is an opportunity to celebrate their decisions to take small steps.

Find other areas in their life where they have successfully made steps.

Once a step has been taken celebration of this step can encourage the next step

Enthusing needs to be genuine / authentic otherwise we’re dishonest. Don’t enthuse too soon.

Acknowledge difficulties in the coachee’s transition

Provocative coaching is only one way to enthuse – consider all the power tools


Stages of change

Emotion / heart ----------------------- Mind ----------------------- Behaviour

How would your life be different today, if people around you enthused you instead of got angry at you for everything they wanted?

My self esteem would be ‘maxed out’ and I would have demonstrated significantly less anger in response

Can you think of an example of when someone has tried one of the negative techniques to get you to change? How successful were they?

Negative techniques:

1. imply you are bad or wrong – sometimes implicated in the tone of voice
2. coercion / threatening
3. guilt trip – sacrifices a person’s self worth; damages self esteem

These are short term techniques and achieve superficial change. All disempower.

Negative techniques are not too successful – I would, at best, harbour resentment

What are some other areas you can think of where clients can benefit from the technique of enthusing?

1. Client is unable to tell his wife and kids that he loves them
2. Client is afraid to take on a promotion at work
3. Client is afraid to give up material wealth to move onto a new challenge
4. Client wants draw closer to God and spend more time with Him in prayer
5. Client wants to initiate change in his business

Challenging Clients 2

Resource: Executive Coaching with backbone and heart: Immediacy – behaviour in the coaching relationship reflects their life skills.

Backbone behaviour: Ask how the coachee benefits from inappropriate behaviour and what is the cost? Challenge = stretch

People’s inappropriate behaviour in the coaching relationship will probably be very prevalent in the rest of their life, in fact amplified.

3 levels of coaching

1. Skill
2. Performance – doing the skill better
3. Developmental coaching – introspective, helping people see inside of themselves, being a mirror: Questions that has the coachee stop and think before being able to give an answer

Introspection: To know who we are… be careful not to dig too quickly

Widen your perspective by exposing yourself to different things.. books, courses, people etc

Growth comes from challenges, pain, where there is resistance.

Resource: A course in miracles foundation

Think of one situation where you are being challenged now. How can it be managed to make a positive experience for all?

Challenge: my finances

Management:

Ask myself what’s the worst thing that can happen
Reframing: Money isn’t that important

Look back at what was the cause or basis of a situation where I’ve had to deal with difficult people or challenging situation

A peer has had an agenda which she has taken to a boss and without consultation it becomes policy.

When have I been the challenging client? How did I feel and why did I react the way I did, what did I learn?

I had spent a week preparing for a major presentation. On the morning of the presentation my immediate boss ran through my presentation. There was one area which he wasn’t convinced about. He asked me to work it out for myself. I offered a number of possible changes but he persisted in saying that I hadn’t identified the issue. I responded by telling him I had run out of ideas / solutions. However, he still wouldn’t advise of the necessary change. The minutes were ticking away and I became increasingly frustrated, stressed and angry. I ultimately walked out of the office not wanting to continue the process. I believe he needed to make some suggestions to give me some roadmap to the answer. I learnt that I need to preplan my response to such situations.

Power Listening 1

A coach needs to listen to what

• truly inspires them
• lightens them up
• frees them
• keeps them from resignation

Active and Powerful listening

• listen attentively: 'tune in'; listen also for what they're not saying
• paraphrase judiciously
• check perceptions
• leave a pause when the coachee stops speaking
• be empathetic & non-judgemental or non-opinionated
• Move into action - rambling or venting is not constructive ask how does that apply? Move to a future focus: 'So what do you think the next step is?' or determine whether coachee needs counselling

Which of the listening strategies are my strengths and weaknesses?

Strength - move into action

Weaknesses - judgemental / opinionated

How difficult is it to suspend judgement and opinions?

For me, it is very difficult, especially if I'm using the 'I' word. In a written doco we achieve authority and objectivity by avoiding 'I'.

Why can consoling be a problem?

Consoling can be a problem because it reinforces their current frame of thinking and position and therefore makes movement more difficult

What is the difference between 'rambling and venting' and genuinely unpacking an issue?

Rambling etc is not constructive. They don't necessarily want to be listened to. They're in a default mode of behaviour. Unpacking an issue is a genuine communication, seeking feedback that will inspire the client to find steps forward

Listening from the heart

Sharing things you are sensing and feeling. Intuition is a very powerful tool.

Listening may sound passive but is actually active. We need to avoid formulating our response whilst we're listening. To maximise our listening we should not respond immediately to a coachee. Use this time to formulate your response and encourage your coachee to open up further - often the most valuable information.

Silence has value W.A.I.T.- why am I talking. Listen to your inner voice and learn by practising.

'Golden Triangle': Coach and coachee at opposite ends and the information produced being the 'peak'.

Judgement includes comments such as 'This is good or bad', 'You should be doing this or that'

Resource: 'finding your north star' by Martha Beck - Identifies we have a social and essential self. The social self fits in with his / her communities expectations / boundaries. The essential self is simply 'you' - your heart, your gut feeling. We needs to derive at a good balance which normally means finding more of your essential self.

Coaching is about being authentic. Always ask the coachee what they want to talk about at the start of each session. In this way, you will not be setting your own agenda and solutions for your client. We need to avoid 'helping'. Though coaching is about results, it is up to the coachee at what pace they will achieve their results whilst in their 'stretched zone'.

Reflection

Though we must listen and understand it's all about the coachee, in order to be authentic and establish a trust / relationship, we need to encourage the client to open up and become vulnerable, exposing issues of the heart. This is being empathetic. I believe this can be achieved partly by modelling this behaviour ourself. This would necessitate some degree of passing on our own experiences. A consequence of this would be endangering the professional relationship and the client focus. However, I believe that trust and relationship thrives on this. It is a fine balance we need to achieve!

Challenging Clients 1

A challenging clients include:

1. Victim mentality
2. Don't want to change / unwilling to take responsibility
3. Words and actions don't match up

On these occasions make sure your presence is focused on the client; a commitment to the client. Be mindful of your own, presence, reactions. Learn how to work through your own frustrations; pre-plan your responses. Suspend your judgement. If necessary, reiterate your role and expectations.

Not everyone is coachable:

• Excuse maker
• dishonest
• defensive
• stuck in the past

Always remember there is a coach for everybody - it just might not be you. We need a referral network; not only other coaches but counsellors, psychologists etc form partnerships

Effective Feedback 1

Joanne led an awesome session giving me much to reflect on:

1. Feedback is not based on your opinion but you need to use 'I' and own it
2. Asking permission before giving feedback allows the client to say 'no'
3. Sharing generously and truthfully sets a model for your client; it builds a rapour / trust. It models a vulnerability in exposing the issues of the heart
4. 'You' can be accusationary & divisive
5. Have a perspective of love. Affirming the coachees opinion is empowering and delivers the energy for change
6. Feedback is not necessarily positive or negative but represents an alternative perspective
7. Don't give feedback until you have the whole story; timing is crucial

I have 2 key reflections:

1. We need to own our feedback with the use of 'I' but without it being our opinion. This is in contrast to an authoritative written report, when 'I' needs to be avoided to achieve objectivity. As I begin my coaching journey, I see it as a challenge to use the word 'I' in the spoken language whilst avoiding subjectivity.
2. I consider the modality of feedback is important. If we give 'black and white' feedback there is no opportunity for the coachee to develop their own solution.

getting started 1

Jamee hit core issues asking firstly who we would be as a coach; who we'd relate to in our practice. In essence we were constructing an initial outline practice design.

I believe who I am derives from my life's experiences: Having worked in marketing, I reinvented myself as a business high school teacher. Now, I am again looking to develop myself both professionally and personally. My Christian faith, over recent years, has also had a significant impact in terms of who I am and moreover I discovered that not all christians are happy! Consequently I have 3 core coach areas:

1. Marketing / Business (growing sales)
2. Christian (pathway to happiness)
3. Men (reinvention)

Marketing / business is my major focus, to be supplemented hopefully by the christian and men options.

We also looked ahead 1 or 2 years and considered how we'd see ourselves at that point. This was to be in specific terms. The more specific we are the more our plans are rooted in reality. It was interesting to hear from a number of colleagues and one who had been a Pastor for 20 years who touched upon the need to move christians on from counselling to coaching.

At this very early stage of my coaching journey, I am expecting my business to operate as follows in 1 or 2 years:

1. 20 clients at any given time
2. schedule clients once a week for 3 out of 4 weeks
3. charge a minimum of $300's for the month - given my business niche I'd hope to be at $400 per month in 2 years
4. Promote by word-of-mouth; direct mail; radio 'live interview'; seminars and and workshops; newspapers to direct clients to my website. In 2 years, I'd expect on-line promotion to also be part of the marketing mix.
5. Face to face, on-line and telephone platforms.

It was clear that there was a whole range of experiences amongst the class and some would be capable of starting their coaching journey almost immediately. The key to a commencement date for external clients comes down to the when the individual coach feels ready. But, I believe there will come a time when 'stepping up to the plate' just needs to happen. Confidence also comes from your expertise / passion in any given area.

3 goals in the next 6 months

1. Completed business plan
2. Completed promotional material including: (i) a mail pack for prospects and a welcome pack for new clients (ii) a website
3. Coached 5 coachees as per course and have secured 5 more to continue my practice

I would aim to complete the ICA Program by Jan 31 2009.

3 month mile stone:

1. Have established a website partner and the website is on the way
2. 50 teleclasses by easter and another 15 during 2 week easter break; completed the foundation coach and advanced coach 1 programs
3. Completed Coaching model assessment and developing the power tool assessment

3 biggest fears

1. My plans not being implemented with poor operational day-to-day management to make things happen
2. I discover that I am not suitable for coaching
3. Nobody takes me seriously when I offer to coach them; prospects don't show up.

3 objectives in building a successful business

1. To make the coachee the centre of everything we do - customer orientation
2. To maintain a practice that is respectful but fun to coach in with a contemporary feel that delivers excellent service that differentiates me from other coaches
3. Integrating the 4 functions of my business effectively, and in particular, having suitable financial systems and innovative and impactful promotion.

My Doubt Loop

• The coachees do not transpire as they do value what I have to offer

My solution is to gain confidence in practising as much as possible with friends, family, peers etc and therefore begin to establish a value in what I can offer.

Reduction of rates

1. Negotiate: Ask the client what they would like to pay and, if reasonable, start with this rate for the first month
2. 'Volume' or 'Early payment' discount
3. Pay related to results; on a scale

Enthusing

This is my first blog created to track my experience over the next 12 months or so in completing an ICA lifecoaching course. Today, I had my first teleclass led by Ton who was enthusing, of course! He allowed the class to discuss various experiences in relation to the topic without cutting anyone short. My thought - probably driven by my teaching experience - is whether he completed his content. Or, is the content relatively small, allowing for significant learning by discovery. A couple of key points:

1. Enthuse after the client has taken a decision and after you've established a relationship with the coachee
2. There's a step to the plate moment which can be difficult to overcome. The coachee is then in a 'stretching zone'. To enthuse will now give the energy they need to take the necessary steps

Well, I guess I'll improve my blogging skills as I become more aware of the expectations of the course.