Power Listening 1

A coach needs to listen to what

• truly inspires them
• lightens them up
• frees them
• keeps them from resignation

Active and Powerful listening

• listen attentively: 'tune in'; listen also for what they're not saying
• paraphrase judiciously
• check perceptions
• leave a pause when the coachee stops speaking
• be empathetic & non-judgemental or non-opinionated
• Move into action - rambling or venting is not constructive ask how does that apply? Move to a future focus: 'So what do you think the next step is?' or determine whether coachee needs counselling

Which of the listening strategies are my strengths and weaknesses?

Strength - move into action

Weaknesses - judgemental / opinionated

How difficult is it to suspend judgement and opinions?

For me, it is very difficult, especially if I'm using the 'I' word. In a written doco we achieve authority and objectivity by avoiding 'I'.

Why can consoling be a problem?

Consoling can be a problem because it reinforces their current frame of thinking and position and therefore makes movement more difficult

What is the difference between 'rambling and venting' and genuinely unpacking an issue?

Rambling etc is not constructive. They don't necessarily want to be listened to. They're in a default mode of behaviour. Unpacking an issue is a genuine communication, seeking feedback that will inspire the client to find steps forward

Listening from the heart

Sharing things you are sensing and feeling. Intuition is a very powerful tool.

Listening may sound passive but is actually active. We need to avoid formulating our response whilst we're listening. To maximise our listening we should not respond immediately to a coachee. Use this time to formulate your response and encourage your coachee to open up further - often the most valuable information.

Silence has value W.A.I.T.- why am I talking. Listen to your inner voice and learn by practising.

'Golden Triangle': Coach and coachee at opposite ends and the information produced being the 'peak'.

Judgement includes comments such as 'This is good or bad', 'You should be doing this or that'

Resource: 'finding your north star' by Martha Beck - Identifies we have a social and essential self. The social self fits in with his / her communities expectations / boundaries. The essential self is simply 'you' - your heart, your gut feeling. We needs to derive at a good balance which normally means finding more of your essential self.

Coaching is about being authentic. Always ask the coachee what they want to talk about at the start of each session. In this way, you will not be setting your own agenda and solutions for your client. We need to avoid 'helping'. Though coaching is about results, it is up to the coachee at what pace they will achieve their results whilst in their 'stretched zone'.

Reflection

Though we must listen and understand it's all about the coachee, in order to be authentic and establish a trust / relationship, we need to encourage the client to open up and become vulnerable, exposing issues of the heart. This is being empathetic. I believe this can be achieved partly by modelling this behaviour ourself. This would necessitate some degree of passing on our own experiences. A consequence of this would be endangering the professional relationship and the client focus. However, I believe that trust and relationship thrives on this. It is a fine balance we need to achieve!