power listening 2

Golden triangle – Top of the triangle symbolises a ‘thinking cloud’ – thoughts about the client – ‘Hover above’ the coaching session; detach yourself from the conversation. Consequently, you can pay attention to the process or goals. We can get into a help mode. We avoid getting too close and simply fast tracking solutions.

After coaching session – reflect on your own behaviour – are you working too hard? If so, you’re probably trying to provide solutions.

Sympathy vs empathy

Sympathy is looking down in the hole
Sympathy is getting down in the hole.

Focus on questions to avoid sympathy. Focus on directing her helping herself of the hole rather than getting her out of the hole. Avoid ‘helping’!

We are not a ‘rent a friend’ business!

Coachee needs to walk out saying “ain’t I great!” not “isn’t the coach great”. Detach yourself from the coachee’s success.

How difficult is it to suspend judgement and opinions?

For me, it is very difficult, especially if I'm using the 'I' word to establish ownership of what I say. However, in a written document we achieve authority and objectivity by avoiding 'I'.
What are 5 things a coach needs to listen for with a client
ReflectionWe must listen and understand it's all about the coachee. However, in order to be authentic and establish a trust / relationship, we need to encourage the client to open up and become vulnerable, exposing issues of their heart. I believe this can be achieved, in part, by modelling this behaviour. This is being empathetic. It necessitates some degree of discussing our own experiences. Negative consequences would include endangering the professional relationship and the client focus. However, I believe that trust and relationship thrives on this. It is a fine balance we need to achieve!