empowering the coaching relationship

The ego wants predictability not a risk

In coaching we must be careful not to 'please' our client or be worried about being 'liked'. We simply need to be ourselves and trust the coaching process.

Making relationships starts with us as coaches.

Things we can do internally: Prepare for learning; taking everything that has happened to us and use it as a strength.

Technique: Close your eyes and think of fighting as a soldier. What are you thinking / feeling if you were going to kill or be killed. At the survival mode not a lot of thinking happens. It is more 'fight or flight' - Our blood goes to our arms and legs away from our head. Everyday stress causes cells to mutate in order to exist at a lower blood supply.

Letting go of stuff empowers the relationship

Note: Richard Hawkins Power vs Force and the Map of conscientiousness

Empowering the coaching relationship

Being coachable is being willing to hear and act on input from another as a contribution and an opportunity when a client is not coachable clues are:

• It feels like you are pushing
• The client is resisting or arguing
• The client will not take an action

First, enthuse the client

Second tell the client what you are observing

Remember part of coaching is seed planting; you'll eventually learn not to keep pushing uphill.

Expectations
Clients must understand what is expected of them: Set up a structure. If the client doesn't meet these expectations then they must be reinforced.

Responsibility

You are responsible for
setting up the structure
maintaining accountability
maintaining your self imposed standards

The client is responsible for all outcomes, good and bad - this should be made clear in your welcome pack

Help clients to acknowledge the partnership

Make it fun but still maintaining accountability

Preparation

A client who is unprepared
often does not have enough attention on coaching
will probably not know what they want to work on
may not have done their fieldwork
will usually rely on you to drive the coaching

You may organise a proforma that you simply email. Basically a client needs to come to the session with some sense of what they want to get out of it.

Availability

Power Calls (2-10 minutes)

Client tells you concisely what the issue is & you respond with concise, powerful coaching
Power calls enable you to bond more closely
Roughly one Powercall per week.
Good idea to do a mid-week call; even a midweek email to see how you are doing
Don't list as a standard service one of your extra services - surprise them!

Creating feedback loops

Checking for feedback is very valuable for eg find out what is missing

Ask for feedback at the end of each session "What did you get from today's coaching?"

You do not need a session structure to coach. However, there are some good reasons to have one. When you begin coaching you will benefit from the support of a structure may help the client to understand what is happening in the coaching sessions so that they take more ownership of the coaching relationship. eg:

• Acknowledgement
• Accountability
• Enthusing
• Focus
• Action
• Feedback