Responsibility vs Blame

Responsibility leads to freedom

Needs perspective that you caused a situation. Then you have the power to change it.
Blame = loss of freedom & disempowerment - Consequently, resentment and victim position - something happened to me.

No one is ever totally blameless.

Techniques

Taking responsibility can start difficult conversations - Use 'I'

Tool: Accomplice
Given total responsibility can be really difficult. However, people can often see how they contributed to a situation or at least went along with it.

Technique: Extreme Perspective on an issue - 100% responsibility vs 100% not responsibility - Feel the difference in comparing both positions.

Forgiveness has everything to do with us. In forgiveness we release ourselves.

Truth - some things are outside by our coachees control. However, what we do have control over is our ability to make choices - our responses - We need to concentrate on things we can control. Let's learn from our mistakes.

Taking responsibility - we build character, self esteem, integrity, clarity and value.

Alternatively, we can avoid 'punishment' but this can lead to more trouble.

Blame Game

A person who is never at fault - helpless victim of circumstances by choice.

Responsibility is a privilege not a burden.

The blame game can become part of our thinking.

We play by accepting that others are stronger, smarter and more resourceful than you. An indicator is lots of 'shoulds'. Advantages: 1. Don't have to take responsibility 2. Decisions are left to everyone else.

We can stop by knowing that no-one can do anything to you without your permission.

In class:

Invite the client to take responsibility in small steps.

How are you contributing to this situation? What do we control? What role did you play in this situation? What would help you feel better in this role?

We can't be responsible for someone else's actions. In business we're accountable for a
subordinate's action rather than being responsibility.

We're responsible for our response. Self blame is a big issue.

We can be responsible in planning 20 phone calls to secure clients. We cannot control if we get 'x' no of clients.