Trust vs Doubt

Trust gives us confidence and freedom.

We need to trust ourself or it can be a source of doubt. Doubt considerations include:

1. Negative - from others it can be judgement
2. Can fuel self doubt that already exists
3. Focus on past failures
4. Doubt from others is 'noise'
5. Being in doubt is driving with the breaks on
6. Doubt can grow when there are no immediate results

We need to focus on having the right people around you 'believing eyes'.

Story

An old toothless lion is in the middle of the forest. He roars loud and all the other animals run to the edge of the forest where they were eaten by other lions lying in wait. When you hear the roar in your life go towards it!

As a coachee you can sometimes lack responsibility for eg to make preparation.

A complaint is information for us and is a gift: 1 perfect coaching client 2. there's a conversation. 3. it's a chance to reestablish trust 4. it's a chance to reestablish relationships 5 it shows they still want a relationship 6 it shows something I need to address in myself

Note game of frustration to fascination

Story

A horse ran away. The next day he came back with a wild horse. The man's son rode the horse and broke his leg. The next day the govt conscripted soldiers and he didn't have to go.

Don't judge - everything is perfect.

Note Van Sanders: The art of possibility

We can have a perspective of trust - empowered to take action
We can have a perspective of doubt - fear

Doubt is produced by judgements - it starts with judging that something isn't perfect eg when we judge that having no money is wrong. Therefore, when we do not have abundance we worry.
We need the opposite perspective: Having no money could be just right for us right now.

When we give ourselves an 'A' it opens trust.

How to realise perfection

The opposite of fear is clarity. If there is fear, can we define the fear so we can clearly reason it out? Look for possible advantages found in whatever they feel is imperfect.

The antagonist

Always the catalyst for change and further growth. See the antagonist as an opportunity for growth.

Viewing Perfection as perfect

Everything is just the way it is supposed to be and that it is perfect. Our lives are a combination of every choice we have ever made and in that respect we have created our lives.

One of our purposes is to learn - in this way we can see that life is perfect.

Is life perfect? Our perception can make it so.

Questions we can ask:

1. Let's take a step back for a moment. What advantages can you see in this particular situation?
2. Is there someone you know who is really positive? What are some advantages they might see in this particular situation.
3. If there was a lesson to be learned here what is it?

A Special Tip
'Down Motion' is easier to express than an 'up motion'

Respect the process

Should we lay down and accept everything in life? No we can accept life in the present whilst planning to change it.
1. See the beauty and perfection in what is really happening. Hearing but not reacting.
2. Create a vision of how life could be and make a commitment to reach that vision.

Do not focus on the result alone. Otherwise we'll be hooked on the result. Accept the process.

Gratitude vs Complaining

We're conditioned to complain - a bad habit. Gratitude though is always welcoming.

Consider working with the effects of a perspective. When you're in perfection 'gratitude' is the natural outcome.

When you're in a problem, complaining is the outcome. Result: You're drained.

Questions to shift complaining:

1. What do you get out of complaining
2. So what is there to be grateful for in this case?
3. What's the ads of this situation

Everything will work out - it always does.